The university of Toronto Sexual Education Centre (SEC) has had a bit of chatter come up recently with their upcoming events for their Sexual Awareness Week. With their kick-off event Monday, they are hosting an event moving into the evening at Oasis Aqua Lounge, which offers a space for students to explore their sexuality in a safe space that evening. Oasis is a venue that offers a safe space as a 'sexual playground', with areas such as saunas, patios, 'dungeon' areas and role-playing rooms where swingers, couples, and on the occasion, single members can explore their sexuality either one-on-one or with other partners. This venue is known for offering an outlet for people to explore their sexuality in a clean, private, safe space, offering free condoms and lube, as well as a no pressure, no obligation policy for every member that comes through their doors. (Yes, besides this event, it is a members only club).
After this was released as news to the public, minds went directly to the idea of orgies and a sultry sex house supported by the University of Toronto. Much of the public was surprised and (at least those that I've seen interviewed) were visibly upset about the notion of school having affiliation with sexual acts and exploration. People were uncomfortable with students having sex, having a space provided for sex, and offering a space for the students to try sex, sex options, fetishes, openness, and other taboo topics that some of the public still have a hard enough time discussing in 'civilized' society. There were two releases sent out both by the university and the SEC
FOUND FROM A REDDIT FEED VIA the star.com
Hi everyone,
"I'm the event coordinator. [...] I wanted to clear some things up about the event to take away some of the fears and or misconceptions some of you may have.
It's not necessarily an orgy. In fact, at last year's event there wasn't a ton of sex in the open as there are secluded places within the club to go to. we also have a no sex on the first floor rule so people can avoid the it if they please.
We will have a number of marked volunteers assisting the regular staff to ensure that everyone is having a good experience and is respecting all the other attendees.
We will be providing a myriad of safer sex supplies including condoms (both latex and poly-isoprene), nitrile gloves, dental dams, and lube so that everyone can be as safe as possible.
This event is 100% legal. If you have any in depth questions you can contact the club or read their FAQ.
If you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to post them here or email me at utsec.ex.ed@gmail.com"
The university of Toronto emailed this statement to the Toronto Star:
“The University will not attempt to censor, control or interfere with any group on the basis of its philosophy, beliefs, interests or opinions expressed, unless and until these lead to activities which are illegal or which infringe the rights and freedoms.”
Regardless of these statements, either through social media or news outlets, there has been negative press for this event. The notion of young adults expressing their sexuality or having a safe space to explore their sexuality is 'inappropriate' in a school environment. I know that I'm not the only 20-something that took some time (or is still taking their time) exploring and understanding their sexuality. I wouldn't say that I was raised in a conservative or prudish family, but I certainly wasn't a girl developing in a sexually liberated house. I learned about my period from my parents, I read that silly "Fully Alive" sex-Ed book that was required in my Catholics school religion class, and if I wasn't so nervous or shy about king questions, I'm sure my parents would have tried to help or answer my queries... To a point. They're only so educated about this and, (like me) only so comfortable having these conversations with their child. I also had recess snickering and adventures when teachers found a porn magazine in someone's desk, and had access to the blossoming interwebs in the mid-90's. it wasn't terrible, but there were definitely holes in my sexual education.
When I grew older, however, and eventually started in my own sexual experiences, I was sort of ignorant to what was going on or what was working. It was awkward. It was weird. I was sure I had no one to talk to because any questions I had, I was sure that no one else was thinking the same things or had the same concerns or questions I did. When I moved off to university, the awkwardness didn't stop. I had bizarre encounters, I started learning about types of relationships or sexual experiences that I had never hear of before. Sometimes, when I heard about these things, it was told to me in a negative light, or with limited information. My university did have a Sexual Education Centre, and it did have information and meetings, events and parties of sorts, as well as connections to the PrideCentre and other centres within the school, but when it came to events related to the centre, it was more mix and mingles, mini education events, and sometimes so minimal that they were easily overlooked compared to the many other events happening on campus. Much of my SEC blended into the wall of the rest of the things happening on campus and it ended up that parts of my education of my sexuality ended up being trial and error and self education. It wasn't their fault, it just ended up being same old events combined with my own fears of ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT SEX that held me back from exploring this resource in my post-secondary career.
Now let me be clear. There are more events happening at the many SEC at campuses all over this country than I could count or that I never knew of. If you're still in school, please check them out (or get involved) Not taking advantage of the services they provided was my own fault. At the same time, it's not a part of school that was necessarily highlighted in my post-secondary career. It happened, and I had to figure out sex in my own way.
So what's the problem with UofT having this event? In my opinion, absolutely nothing!
I think that this event is great, and the press it's been getting is even better! I wish that my school had the balls to do something so different and outside the box of the usual SEC events. It's is offering a space where not only people can explore, but also understand the different types of sexual exploration out there. I think that this publicity is a huge success for the SEC because they are finally are getting noticed! With this kind of press, those that wouldn't usually look twice at this resource are becoming interested because the SEC is showing off that they are not your guidance councillor or that stupid sex book from religion class. These people just might know what their talking about!!!! The student body is being introduced to a new type of sexual awakening and doing it through their peers, which means, people won't become confused or jaded by the illusions of the porn industry. Peers can discuss their sexuality and they are being shown that there is such a thing as a safe space outside of the the Internet or drinks out with the gang at 1am. Sex can be discussed in a smart, honest, real way, and you will not be punished or judged for your questions! You just might figure out sex!!!
Trust me, it's not always that sexy. It's not always that perfect. It's awkward, it might be funny, it might be uncomfortable and weird. Plus, sometimes you slip, fall, punch someone in the eye or fall of the bed. Porn has ruined the concept of sex for the inexperienced and many come out disappointed and in need of a shower and some quiet time. The awesome thing about resources like your schools SEC is that you can talk to someone and maybe be a little more prepared for what you're diving into, head first and pants off.
I think having an option like this introduces options to students who are willing to try something new or are curious to what else is out there in the 'sexual universe'. On top of that, what's wrong with post-secondary students exploring their sexuality? Beyond education, books, and beer, isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? Figuring out who we are if we haven't already? I learned through awkward encounters and suspect-at-best advice from friends and various sources. Yes, is event is calling up a lot of controversy and press for the SEC, but at the same time, it's demonstrating that they are a place where they are knowledgable of different types of sex and that students should be able to explore themselves, while still being safe and smart about it.
The fact that people are judging and getting upset about this is the exact reason people like myself had hard time figuring out sex and sexuality. This topic is still taboo. There's still that idea that what happens behind closed doors is no one else's business. But what if you have no idea what to do once you're behind that door? What if you hurt yourself, or end up doing something you don't really want to to do because you didn't know any better? Along with this, what if you never try something that you could potentially LOVE because the public voice says that what that thing is is wrong or dirty or bad?
I say kudos to the UofT SEC. You are stepping out of the comfort zone and offering an outlet to your students to do the same in a safe environment. Let the public squirm. Let them judge. W can't help that. What we can help is our confidence in what we want to know and know that when we are educated, we can not be ashamed of our knowledge.
Sex(y) rant ended.
-janeovision
No comments:
Post a Comment