Sunday, July 19, 2009

kiss me, one more time...



Got to be a kiss roadie for a day...



Pushed around heavy shit
Played with pyrotechnics
Hung out with roadies
Spent the day being showered with compliments (it's as if they'd never seen girls before!)
Had some fun with roadies
Oh, did I mention the Pyrotechnics?

A good day, but owowow my body owowow.

-janeovision

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

jobs can be cool...

so tomorrow...

I go and load out and set up for Kiss.
I go and watch Kiss.
I teardown Kiss.

oh life, you entertain me sometimes.

-janeovision

Monday, July 13, 2009

this one's a doozie...of the concert persuasion.

and I rant again.

***Please be warned, I'm especially annoyed this time, so I'm going to swear. A lot. Actually, whenever I rant, I tend to turn into a sailor. Nothing held back. From this blog in, you've been warned.***

So Bluesfest is on right now in Ottawa. Concerts everywhere you turn, with almost anyone you can think of playing.

Metric.
Ani DiFranco.
Mother Mother
Kiss.
Joe Cocker.
Ludacris.
Broken Social Scene.
Basia Bulat.
Divine Brown.

Let's just say, Bluesfest has their bases covered this year.

SO! I've, of course been going to these concerts and the second I step into the crowds, my urge to punch, punt, and pulverize those around me rises dramatically. It seems that the people of Ottawa do not seem to understand the concept of CONCERT ETIQUETTE!

1. If you are near the front of the stage, you are standing. At outdoor shows, lawn chairs do not belong within the first 10-15 yards of the stage. Unless its mid afternoon and no one is around, it's just silly. concerts are for standing up close, dancing and experiencing the music. If you don't want to stand, then grab your chair and go to the back. The music sounds just as good, you can see the light show great from there, and, you're probably saving yourself from permanent hearing loss like us keeners in the front.


2. If you so choose to stand in the front with us keeners, participate. Once again the music is there to be experienced. That can mean dancing, swaying, humming or singing along (but not too loud, we're not here to see you), clapping and so on. The audience is there not only to enjoy the show, but also to feed energy to the performer.
Shiny happy audience=shiny happy performer
They feed off of our energy. This gives them more energy, producing a more exciting and fun show for all!
However...
If you stand beside me while I'm dancing/swaying/humming like a big boob giving me the stink eye because I'm in you 'personal space' , you are not helping. You are being a big lump bringing me and everyone else down because you're too 'cool' to express your emotion towards the music. I don't care if you're a lovelorn emo pre-teen with so many problems that I 'just wouldn't understand' or a middle aged fart whose conservative background makes them believe to stand still and quiet so not to disrupt anything. This is a concert. It's not your ap history class and it's not your living room with your 2.5 children and dog named muffin. Go to the back with chairs McGee and brood somewhere else. I have a concert to enjoy.


3. Don't bring your 8-year-old to the front of the stage when the concert is loud, bouncy music and everyone is jumping around and pushing eachother. She is too young, and you are traumatizing her now so she'll never enjoy concerts when she's big enough to fend for herself. I know you bought a ticket for both of you - and good for you for introducing your child to different musics at such a young age - but please gowhere you're both safe. You're not doing anyone any good.


4. Respect the space of the front of the dance/moshpit. Some people have camped there for a while to get that spot and are working hard to keep it to enjoy the show. Little turds that squeeze from the very back and push and shove and HURT people so they can get what they want. Just watch the crowd and see how people move. Usually you can get up there eventually, just be patient. And enjoy the show! It sounds just as good everywhere else. Ask chairs Mcgee in the back! Oh, and don't push to the front so that you're crushing people. Us in the front know what we got ourselves into when we put ourselves up there, that we were gonna get bumped around and will probably be bruised and sore in exchange for our coveted spot. but don't be THAT douche behind us just because you didn't get there.


5. Respect the violence that is the front of the stage. It's loud, crowded, dangerous and can be painful (especially with crowd surfers coming over your head). We're all in this together, so take care of eachother. And then help me beat the shit out of that one guy/girl that is being a douche.


That all being said, here's my rant:

To the bleach-blonde tramp and her fat hipster in the vest:

FUCK YOU!

You are rude, ugly people who were there just to hurt those around you and be obnoxious little twats. You were crushing people, hurting people, pissing EVERYONE off with your disregard for everyone around you. How dare you swear at ME when your punching me, crushing me and my friends, and putting those around you in danger. We fought for the spots we got and for you to be the shits that you are and try to push us back gives me more reason to pummel little hipster wannabes like you. And don't try to call me fat when I'm pushing you off of my friend who is suffocating on the barricades. First of all, stop acting like a 4-year-old, because, seriously, I don't give two shits what you think of me. Second, don't punch my ass to try to make me move or to make some sort of point. I have enough ass on both of you that I'm not even gonna feel it and it makes you look pathetic. My ass was able to overpower BOTH of you, so suck on it. I'm glad you both got on stage, because then I didn't have to deal with you.

To the girl - You're a dumb bitch who has to have some SE-RI-OUS daddy issues to want to be on stage that bad. I'm sorry you never got the pony, or the polly pocket for Christmas, or that your daddy didn't care about you and mom was to busy drowning her emotions in a bottle. I hope you enjoyed those 15 minutes, but they'll never fill the daddy-issue void. Next time you're on a stage, fall off. We'll appreciate that more than you flashing your gross crotch to 10,000 people. Go back to your corner downtown and save up for a better dye job. I'm done with you.

To the guy - You are a pathetic asshole who cuts everyone else around him down to make up for his own emotional scarring. I'm sorry that you were 'that kid' in school, but grow up and out. Your in need for some deep therapy and a good cry, because obviously you can't seem to handle your life so you try to destroy those around you to make up for it. You were hurting girls half your size (but, really, weren't they all at MOST, have your size, cuddles?) and were so selfish in your actions. Go choke. I'm done with you.

Thank you for getting on stage and out of our way. We appreciate you being as far away from us as possible, seriously. Now, let us enjoy the concert while you get the dick out of your teeth. You're wasting our time.

Rant ended.

***From here on in, I won't bring this topic up again. This is a venting system for me. Now that i've said it, I can go and see the good in people again and move on. Like I said the other day, 'see the good, or drown in your own hate'. I've vented, and now I can see.***


Ahh. I feel better now.

Next post will hopefully be more positive.

I'm seeing Basia Bulat tonight.
Win!

-janeovision

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

the fringe has ended...

So fringe is done.

My last 3 shows:

Pitch Blond
House
Jump

Not bad, but nothing that really shook me or I want to sing about. I think Pitch was the best of the three, just learning about Judy Holliday's life was really cool. House was too high in angry energy, I got bored and almost fell asleep. If he hadn't clapped his hands at one point, I would've slept through the entire thing. Jump was interesting, but I couldn't believe her as a child and I kept getting the feeling that she was trying to hit this mark that was never going to be reached. It was good, but the emotions for such a dark comedy just weren't there for me.

Now I'm just wrapping up the last of my emails and handing in keys. Surreal for it to be over so soon.

I miss everyone! I miss the beer tent, the techs, even those demanding performers! I'm especially going to miss the catgut boys, who I declare as my Official Fringe Crush! Such sweethearts from Kevin to Summer, I love all you guys! Come back soon!

Ok, from now on, posts will be other stuff...must...move...on...

heart you, fringe.

-janeovision.

ps. final show count: 21. damn, didn't beat my record, but I at least matched it.