Sunday, February 24, 2013

Best Picture nominees: I was SO CLOSE!!

Tonight's the night everyone!!

Tonight the rich and bizarrely famous will airbrush on their best on-camera smiles and walk the carpet to see if they won a statue of a naked dude! ARE YOU EXCITED????

I had tried to watch every one of the Best Picture Nominees, as I try to do every year, and I was able to make it through 7 of the 9 films. Like the rest of the world, work school, and life in general got in the way. I was hoping to have reviewed everything, but I got close (I even had Life of Pi ready to watch on my laptop!), so I guess I can give myself an A for effort.

Lucky for you, I was able to find somewhat of a substitute. Below you will find Pie charts of the two films I was unable to see, Amour and Life of Pi. (please enjoy the puns while you look at the Pi pie chart too!) Have a look, and please note that these were probably made with a bit of tongue in cheek, maybe sarcasm, and most likely bias. That's what's so great about the internet. You never know what you're going to get. (Thanks to thisisnthappiness.com, where the charts were found. All of the films for Best Picture Nominee were done, and you can see them here)

Hope you liked my reviews, hope you enjoy the Oscars tonight too. I know I'll be watching with a bottle of wine and junior mints!


-janeovision



Movie Review: Zero Dark Thirty


First off, I have to say I'm a fan of Kathryn Bigelow and her work. I'm not a fan of war movies or pro America movies for that matter. I feel that a lot of Americans have enough confidence for the world over and do not need to be sped pro-war and pro-America nonsense. When I saw Bigelow's last film, The Hurt Locker, I found it was a refreshing look at the war and the people that are in it. It didn't shove a flag down your throat, but portrayed the soldiers as humans, affected by what they saw, so much they'd rather stay and protect their fellow soldiers than be back on home soil, safe and with family. It had an honesty to it that I hadn't seen in a while and had pushed me away from movies like this.

Zero Dark Thirty was a bigger challenge than Hurt Locker. Based on actual accounts and true events, and with it hitting so close to home with recent U.S. history, it's hard not to see the flags waving in the aisles. Bigelow was still able to keep it about the issue at hand, and not get too heavy-handed on the patriotism, but as the plot continue on, it was hard to stand that ground and I felt I had a flag being shoved down my throat when I wasn't looking.

Jessica Chastain was a powerhouse, bringing her oscar-game as usual. But It's the same old Oscar worthy performance. I'd love to see her switch it up somehow and play someone weak, and maybe not a leading role. I'd love to see her push someone else and support her fellow actors, as opposed to being the one on top. Yes, I know she was also in The Help, but that role did nothing for me anyways. I will say that my favourite moment was at the very end when she is on the plane, and in those final minutes before the credits roll, she is alone and she breaks down. She doesn't cry of relief or sadness, or even really a cry of release now that she is heading home. She just cries. She finally stops and takes a moment to what has been happening over the years, what she's gone through and what she's lost, and she just cries. I found that moment the highlight of her performance.

The biggest controversy about this film is the idea that they are glorifying and hollywood-ing the torture that happens to captors. There has been talk about them showing off the terrible things they do, or even being a little to 'nice' about it, showing it much tamer than it actually is. These scenes are something that have to be taken on VERY carefully by, not only the director, but the actors as well. I feel that Bigelow did it in a way that portrayed a glimmer of the reality of war in Iraq, but still not traumatizing the audiences so much that they walk out of the theatre before the movie even begins. With a scene as delicate as torture, you will never have anyone happy with it. I certainly wasn't comfortable watching it, but it had to be shown. It's done, let's move on.

This film was what it was. Good guy catching the bad guy. Good guys win, bad guys lose. Bigelow is becoming more and more of a name in Hollywood, but if she does another movie about the war, I just might give up on her. Please don't pull a Wes Anderson and get stuck in a niche*. I have high hopes and I don't like being disappointed.


-janeovision


* I think Wes Anderson's Last Film, Moonrise Kingdom does NOT fall under his niche I mentioned, same with Fantastic Mr Fox. But, although I like his movies (enough) his bit has gotten old.


Movie Review: Beasts of the Southern Wild. I ACTUALLY LIKE A CHILD ACTOR!!



Where's the guy that makes the tiny kid-sized oscars? 'Cuz HOLY CRAP WE NEED ONE.

I usually don't like child actors. Most of the time, the kids are so annoying and over-saturating the screen with their cutsie nonsense that i want to scream or cuff them up side the head. I hate kids coasting on their cutsieness and bullshit. The Santa Clause makes me cringe. The kids from It's a Wonderful Life piss me off. And I know I'll get some flack for this, but besides that kid with the pickle, The little rascals (especially the girls) hits a nerve. Unless the kid is well spoken or clever, or just acting like a little kid and kind of goofy, I can't stand it. This is why movies such as Home Alone, Stand by me, and some of the stuff that Dakota Fanning kid is in usually falls under the exceptions list. Most of the time, if the kid becomes famous for being cute, they are doomed to a failed career. Coasting on your cuteness is not the way to survive in Hollywood. I mean, have you seen Lindsay Lohan Lately?? Even Macauley Caulkan, who is one of those exceptions (though I was not a big Uncle Buck fan) is looking a little worse for wear.

Ok. Now that I have that out of the way, let's move on to this review.

I know that Quvenzhane Wallis is not going to win the Oscar. That's not how these awards work. Her performance, however, was definitely one I am happy was acknowledged by the various academies. In this role, I felt she wasn't made cute, she wasn't portrayed as a smarter-than-the-average-kiddo, she was a child. She lived with her dad as the world around her crumbled and her imagination ran with it. She wasn't trying to charm the audience or impress them, she was being the character: a kid.

Her performance was realistic and touching, as you saw her concept of the world through her eyes. The explanation to why her mum left; the oasis of living in the 'bathtub' of the south, away from the ugly city; the heartbeats of those around her; her fears and realizations when her dad goes missing. I can understand her reasoning to why she believes everything she is told, and can easily sympathize to very action and emotion that comes out of her. Based on her upbringing, she has little to compare anything to. When your dad is your world, how can anything he say be wrong?

I'd definitely say see this movie, but don't expect the usual movie with a kid in it. It's not a feel good movie, its not a movie that will necessarily rock your world, but I feel her performance and the movie as a whole will lift you in a way I can't exactly describe. It will affect you subtly, and it may take time to grow on you. If you didn't like it the first time, see it again, You may be thinking too hard.


-janeovision




Thursday, February 21, 2013

Movie Review: Lincoln. I guess I should be honest...


I have been dreading watching this movie since the nominations came out. I personally am not a fan of historical films, specifically American history, politics, or war films. I've never seen Saving Private Ryan. I've resolved myself to say that I'm sure it's a good film, but I have absolutely no interest in seeing it. That's pretty much as fa as I'll go with anything of the like.

However, since I promised myself I would see all the best picture nominees, I sat myself down (or, I was briefly bedridden with strep) and watched it. It's not easy to review a movie you don't want to watch in the first place, but you do what you gotta do. My thoughts from here on out may seem somewhat blazze, but I stand by my previous statement about my thoughts on this genre.

My review is this: The acting was good. Daniel Day-Lewis made Lincoln look human and his connection with both soldiers and businessmen seemed kind and honest (see what I did there?!) Sally Field was Sally Field. She'll always be Momma Gump to me; charming and sharp as a tack. Tommy Lee Jones will forever look like grumpy cat. There were a few surprise cameos with Joseph Gordon Levitt and the guy that plays Adam from Girls. The story is simple, they vote, it passes (2 hours later! guh) Abe goes to the theatre. badda bing badda boom.

I wish I could say more, but I feel I'd be wasting both of our time. It's a historical political movie. He wants slave free. He gets it done. He gets shot in the theatre and he dies. I'm pretty sure I got this history lesson from a milk commercial when I was 10.

If you like this kind of stuff, go see it. Let me know what you thought. Im sure I'm missing something.

Or maybe I'll never like these movies. I'll always be an action movie girl.

Bloodsport, anyone?

-janeovison

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Movie Review: Django Unchained


Oh Mr. Tarantino. How I enjoy your films.

I'm a big action movie fan. I love guns, car chases, shit blowing up, bad guys getting their comeuppance, and lots of blood splatter. My valentines day date included the premiere of the newest Die Hard movie. As suspected, it was TERRIBLE, but it still satiated me with everything I desire in that genre. Quentin Tarantino has a way of pushing a little harder and hitting every violent note I desire with a bloody hammer.

It's an interesting enough premise: A bounty killer acquires help from a slave to make his money killing wanted men in the south. It's bizarre and surprising how much of a natural Django is at shooting the second he wraps his hands around a pistol. He can even do the fancy holster stuff! I suppose that in the world of Tarantino, we just accept that a slave can read, speak eloquently and strongly, and shoot 10 men with ridiculous accuracy the second his shackles are off. Just like we have to assume that any pawn shop could have a BDSM set up in the basement, waiting for you to crash in. So I'll let it slide.

The acting was as you'd expect. Christophe Waltz, I have no idea where you cam from or how I never noticed you before Quentin got you that Oscar, but please keep doing what you're doing. You are so charming, villainous, eloquent and loveable, wrapped in a smile and commanding posture. You make these movies dance!

I was not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio or Kerry Washington. I found that Leo was too naive and not at all clever or villainous enough for what I was used to. He seemed to be more decoration than anything else, flaunting his southern accent like a scarf in front of your nose and posing for the camera. Kerry was just whiny and screamed way too much. Granted, she was getting punished or threatened a lot of the time, but it just reminded me of the annoying chick from temple of doom that wouldn't shut up either. I was over it quickly.

The final scene was absolute perfection, with everything I love in an action . It tossed in a bit of cowboy flair and the cameo of Tarantino himself was a nice touch. I particularly liked the use of Tarantino's other muse, Samuel L. Jackson as the secondary villain, and Django bringing him down with his own rage and furious anger (teehee!) as the film reached its climax.

Overall, I definitely recommend this movie. It has Tarantino written all over it, eye squishing, guns blazing and all. As always, his films are not for the squeamish, but I'm sure you all knew that. I think I'll watch it a few more times. I need to get the taste of Die Hard out of my mouth anyways. This one is definitely a palate cleanser.

-janeovision



Ranting like it's my job...

I haven't done a rant in a while, but I've seen a few things through social media that have really pissed me off, so here comes a good old fashioned rant from yours truly.

I've had my time in school. I've spent 5 years completing my undergrad, and I'm currently working on my postgrad. Throughout this entire period, and even the space in between, I have held down at least one job consistently, working in retail or serving food and bevvys at the local watering hole. I have been able to pay my bills, feed myself, clothe myself, keep a roof over my head, and have a bit of fun on the side. I've had my parents support when things got rough, but overall, I have taken care and supported myself for close to 9 years.

Throughout this time, I have also been on the hunt for that "real" job. That job that supports me, pays my bills, allows me to live comfortably, and I can be proud of... Hang on. My job does that! I'm proud of where I work, and I'm proud of what I do. Granted, it's not what society accepts as a "real" job, but it does what I need it to do. It doesn't have optimal hours, I usually have no defined weekend, but it keeps me fed, clothed, and under a roof of my own. I'm happy with the work I've done, and I'm happy to be working with the people I'm around all day or night.

So, I have to ask, why is my job less than yours? I've had people talk down to me, do the "sympathy head-tilt" when I bring up my line of work. I get the 'So, this is just temporary, right?' or the "So what do you really want to do with your life" line. I will agree that, no, I don't want to be slinging beers for the rest of my life. I'm back in school for a reason and I plan on moving on to a different career path, perhaps one that is more secure, more stable, and hopefully more challenging (After 10 years in the hospitality industry, it's just second nature). But I don't understand how my job makes me less of a person than you.

I've seen and heard people put down people with jobs at McDonalds, the guy holding the Zellers sign, the bus drivers and the parking ticket officers. I'll admit, I've done it too, But these are still people that have jobs. They are still putting themselves out there to find work and keep that roof over their head. That being said, all of the jobs I mentioned above, tips aside, make nearly double the amount I make an hour! Just because they don't have an office or a desk, an expense account or a 5 or 6 figure salary, that does not make them pathetic, or lazy, or something to be mocked or looked down upon. They are working hard. They may not have had the same opportunities as others, but they still get the rent in on time.

If you have a job, I respect you. If you don't, but you're trying, and are of able mind and/or body, I respect you. Everyone deserves that respect. You are no less of a person because of the title on your business card or the label on your name tag.

One day I would like to have a more stable job. A job that pays more, offers more challenges, maybe has more opportunities, and offers me some kind of comfortable retirement. Until then, I'm Jane the bartender. Im fucking proud of my job. I'm fucking proud of your job too. And If I hear anyone talk down about anyones profession, I will politely correct you. If you continue to be an ass, well then, I'll just have to smack some sense into you. Open fist and all.

Rant ended.

-janeovision

Monday, February 4, 2013

Veguary

... It's here.

Help a girl out. Need inspiration to curb me from wings and bacon.

-janeovision