Ah 2012. welcome to a fresh start!
This year has started with some ups and downs, dealing with the never ending job hunt and the terribly consistent rejection letters and calls, along with the colds and flus that come with cold weather and warm scarves and toques.
This year I'm going to work on a bit o positivity. Towards the end of 2011, I felt like a bit of a downer (and let's be honest, I was) about the world around me and the not-so-fun circumstances that arose in the closing months of the year. Shit hit the fan, negative upon negative seemed to keep stacking and it weighed me down. But I ended the year on a high note with family on a nice vacation and I came back with determination to start fresh and keep trying. I applied for school again, I'm excited about a new theatre project I'll be working on, and I'm looking to the future. Even in this new year, I have already had setbacks, with a potential job falling through, and pretty rough bouts of illness (yea, I was a baby about it) but this is a work in progress and I will keep looking to the future, the good stuff!!
Although I must be clear about this new positive outlook: Just because I'm going to be more positive, doesn't mean I'm not going to vent about the negative out there. Seriously, some of you do some really dumb shit, and I'm going to let you know about it.
If I don't vent this shit out I'm going to explode. I need my balance to keep positive, this is how I'll find it.
-janeovision
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Toothache. Harumph.
Have you ever had a toothache? The pain filling that one side of your head, throbbing constantly. It puts you in a state of dormancy. Any activity you do causes your heart rate to increase, making the throbbing even worse. Walking, running, bike rides, even standing sucks. It is a big pile of suckiness.
Now I've had my own collection of serious injuries and pain. Broken collarbones, stitches, 2nd degree burns, the usual fun, and I've been strong and able to survive and participate in life with these setbacks. Hell, I went to Canada's Wonderland 3 days after having 4 wisdom teeth pulled. I DROVE THERE FOR GODS SAKE!! However, having tooth pain trumps all of it. It takes over your entire head, makes you unable to speak, eat, be a person. I've been sent home from work, been unable to be social, I can't even be a girl and cry because that just makes the pain worse!
Currently I am medicated just enough to take care of myself and not be paralyzed, but stoned enough that I probably shouldn't operate complicated machinery. I have a root canal booked for Tuesday, and I can't wait for it to be all over.
I'm usually in full-on anxiety mode for the dentist, but the fact that I have become a lump of my former self makes me want this done already. My inability to exist socially, my dependence on prescription drugs just to get out of bed, it's insane and ridiculous! I just want this over and done with and to get back to my life!!
Until then, I am stuck on the couch watching '17 Again' (good god.) thinking of what I can eat that won't double me over in pain. Until then, I will wait patiently until I have this over with and I can talk about something that ISN'T my toothache and my many drug-induced hallucinations.
I'm sure everyone else is excited for this to be over too. I know I'm sick of my own complaining, so I can only imagine how everyone else is dealing with me.
Blurg. So over this. Let it be Tuesday now please.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Now I've had my own collection of serious injuries and pain. Broken collarbones, stitches, 2nd degree burns, the usual fun, and I've been strong and able to survive and participate in life with these setbacks. Hell, I went to Canada's Wonderland 3 days after having 4 wisdom teeth pulled. I DROVE THERE FOR GODS SAKE!! However, having tooth pain trumps all of it. It takes over your entire head, makes you unable to speak, eat, be a person. I've been sent home from work, been unable to be social, I can't even be a girl and cry because that just makes the pain worse!
Currently I am medicated just enough to take care of myself and not be paralyzed, but stoned enough that I probably shouldn't operate complicated machinery. I have a root canal booked for Tuesday, and I can't wait for it to be all over.
I'm usually in full-on anxiety mode for the dentist, but the fact that I have become a lump of my former self makes me want this done already. My inability to exist socially, my dependence on prescription drugs just to get out of bed, it's insane and ridiculous! I just want this over and done with and to get back to my life!!
Until then, I am stuck on the couch watching '17 Again' (good god.) thinking of what I can eat that won't double me over in pain. Until then, I will wait patiently until I have this over with and I can talk about something that ISN'T my toothache and my many drug-induced hallucinations.
I'm sure everyone else is excited for this to be over too. I know I'm sick of my own complaining, so I can only imagine how everyone else is dealing with me.
Blurg. So over this. Let it be Tuesday now please.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Woe is me? Pfft. Have a cupcake.
The Internet has been bothering me lately-wait, scratch that- my peers on the Internet have been bothering me lately.
This has been a pretty awesome summer so far. Ups and downs, yes, but overall it's been fun and exciting and full of adventure and good times. However, I've noticed that there have been a few Debbie downers flooding my usual social media. A wave of woe-is-me and I'm-angry-at-the-outside-world, topped off with the proud-asshole types. Frankly, I read these posts (I've started skimming over them for my own sanity) and I want to grab a 2x4 and start swinging.
YOUR LIFE IS NOT THAT HORRIBLE!!
How did emo maintain it's popularity? How was it even popular in the first place?? This behavior of negativity out there is what is sucking all of is dry. Sure, bad days happen. We all have them, and we all post something or other online as a way of therapy and release from the frustration. After all, a monthly data phone bill is usually cheaper than a bi-weekly therapist.
At the same time, though, I like my social media as an outlet for information, sharing news, politics, current events, hell, even the occasional viral video of kitties and guys tripping balls on rainbows in the sky!! I bitch and complain too, but I realize that there are people out there listening. And listening to a crying cat, after a while, makes you want to walk away from the cat forever, or shoot it, just to put it out of it's misery.
One of my (many) theories in life is that you get back what you send out. Send out the good, get back the good. But if you are constantly sending out bad vibes and being a negative Nancy, you have no right to complain about the shit that gets thrown back in your face. If your life is that horrible, find whatever is stirring the pot and change it! Maybe it's the company you keep, maybe it's the lifestyle you lead, maybe it's the environment. Or maybe it's just a bad day. Fact is, there are other days and better days. Take a breath. Look forward to the days to come.
Oh yea, and quit being a bitch and an asshole. That's not a quality to be proud of. It gets old and you'll realize it too late when your friends have become tired of your BS.
Rant ended.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
This has been a pretty awesome summer so far. Ups and downs, yes, but overall it's been fun and exciting and full of adventure and good times. However, I've noticed that there have been a few Debbie downers flooding my usual social media. A wave of woe-is-me and I'm-angry-at-the-outside-world, topped off with the proud-asshole types. Frankly, I read these posts (I've started skimming over them for my own sanity) and I want to grab a 2x4 and start swinging.
YOUR LIFE IS NOT THAT HORRIBLE!!
How did emo maintain it's popularity? How was it even popular in the first place?? This behavior of negativity out there is what is sucking all of is dry. Sure, bad days happen. We all have them, and we all post something or other online as a way of therapy and release from the frustration. After all, a monthly data phone bill is usually cheaper than a bi-weekly therapist.
At the same time, though, I like my social media as an outlet for information, sharing news, politics, current events, hell, even the occasional viral video of kitties and guys tripping balls on rainbows in the sky!! I bitch and complain too, but I realize that there are people out there listening. And listening to a crying cat, after a while, makes you want to walk away from the cat forever, or shoot it, just to put it out of it's misery.
One of my (many) theories in life is that you get back what you send out. Send out the good, get back the good. But if you are constantly sending out bad vibes and being a negative Nancy, you have no right to complain about the shit that gets thrown back in your face. If your life is that horrible, find whatever is stirring the pot and change it! Maybe it's the company you keep, maybe it's the lifestyle you lead, maybe it's the environment. Or maybe it's just a bad day. Fact is, there are other days and better days. Take a breath. Look forward to the days to come.
Oh yea, and quit being a bitch and an asshole. That's not a quality to be proud of. It gets old and you'll realize it too late when your friends have become tired of your BS.
Rant ended.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, July 22, 2011
Life
It's funny sometimes.
From shitty work days (and nights) to late night pool hopping and park hangouts.
Every day has a new adventure, challenge, chaos, love, loss, joy and rage.
It seems that every day has been bouncing from one side of the spectrum to the other. Highs and lows every day. Sometimes I hate it and am ready to throw in the towel and start swinging at everything. But it's good to remember those other days and those highs that happen too.
Lazy days make me occasionally pensive, although today's a pretty general pensive moment.
Can't win 'em all, I guess.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
From shitty work days (and nights) to late night pool hopping and park hangouts.
Every day has a new adventure, challenge, chaos, love, loss, joy and rage.
It seems that every day has been bouncing from one side of the spectrum to the other. Highs and lows every day. Sometimes I hate it and am ready to throw in the towel and start swinging at everything. But it's good to remember those other days and those highs that happen too.
Lazy days make me occasionally pensive, although today's a pretty general pensive moment.
Can't win 'em all, I guess.
-janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Mmhmm
I love those kisses where when after you walk away you touch your lips just to keep that moment close. Just to yourself.
-Janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
-Janeovision
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Interning blog-hurry up and wait...
Hurry up and wait.
I've worked in the theatre world for a while now - 6 years semi professionally and 15 years through my lifetime on and off in tutus and school plays - and there seems to be this constant pattern:
HURRY UP AND WAIT!!
You must be on your toes and ready to do anything at a moments notice, but you may or may not have to wait impatiently and anxiously until you are called. It could be theatre, dance, film, or production, but you better be ready at a moments notice after those 14 hours to work your little tushie off.
You'd think, in the rest of the world, that must be different. You think, " I've been conditioned to this because this is the world I'm in. The rest of the world has it so differently, so much easier!"
Um...nope.
Throughout this internship, I am sending emails and hunting down people and making countless phone calls. And then I wait. I wait for a response. I wait for people to show up. I wait for my phone to ring. I wait. And I wait. And I wait...
And then I go into meetings feeling unprepared because I am in limbo because of everyone else. And I hate feeling unprepared. For anything!
This is the job that you assume that, of course that person is up at 4am checking their email with baited breath, dying to respond to me wih positive news, progress for our project, and finalizations on contracts so that I can sleep. Because the doors only open in 2 weeks (holy crap!!) and my mild case of OCD is making my insomnia that much more fun, and I am trying to be successful at what could be my future career...
Yea... No biggie.
But, of course, this is what I thrive on. I love the stress and chaos before the big show. After all, isn't that what makes the show worth it in the end? I certainly hope so, because my beer is empty and blind optimism is one hell of a buzz.
Oh the life of an intern...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I've worked in the theatre world for a while now - 6 years semi professionally and 15 years through my lifetime on and off in tutus and school plays - and there seems to be this constant pattern:
HURRY UP AND WAIT!!
You must be on your toes and ready to do anything at a moments notice, but you may or may not have to wait impatiently and anxiously until you are called. It could be theatre, dance, film, or production, but you better be ready at a moments notice after those 14 hours to work your little tushie off.
You'd think, in the rest of the world, that must be different. You think, " I've been conditioned to this because this is the world I'm in. The rest of the world has it so differently, so much easier!"
Um...nope.
Throughout this internship, I am sending emails and hunting down people and making countless phone calls. And then I wait. I wait for a response. I wait for people to show up. I wait for my phone to ring. I wait. And I wait. And I wait...
And then I go into meetings feeling unprepared because I am in limbo because of everyone else. And I hate feeling unprepared. For anything!
This is the job that you assume that, of course that person is up at 4am checking their email with baited breath, dying to respond to me wih positive news, progress for our project, and finalizations on contracts so that I can sleep. Because the doors only open in 2 weeks (holy crap!!) and my mild case of OCD is making my insomnia that much more fun, and I am trying to be successful at what could be my future career...
Yea... No biggie.
But, of course, this is what I thrive on. I love the stress and chaos before the big show. After all, isn't that what makes the show worth it in the end? I certainly hope so, because my beer is empty and blind optimism is one hell of a buzz.
Oh the life of an intern...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
lookie loo!
lookie loo!!!
just about to crack this puppy open and dive into the radiohead thought process… the lineup at yonge and dundas square was crazy too! they were at the YDS then moved across the street in front of the H&M… the line was massive each time. lots of fans out there ready to read.
nice to know press is not dead when you have the right thing behind it… that is, a huge band that has an endless fanbase always ready to grab the newest rare paraphernalia.
Enjoy, radiohead fans!
-janeovision
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